Parenting Survival Mode: 11 Tips from Moms Who’ve Been There

This is a sponsored conversation on behalf of Pfizer Consumer Healthcare. However, all opinions are authentic and my own. Please see my disclosure policy.

Have You Ever Been in Parenting Survival Mode?

Let me paint you a little picture of what I mean.

Picture a blended family of 5.  Cliff and I plus 3 crazy kids – ages 4, 7, and 9.  There’s everyday family life: my two oldest attending charter school, my youngest going to an awesome in-home daycare, Cliff working full-time (+ some!) as a commercial building inspector, and myself working as a blogger and social media marketer.  And then there’s this…

…my four year old having blood drawn for the first time to investigate an unexplained fever

… asthma flare-ups and pneumonia

… too many ear infections to keep count

… working on and “graduating” from potty training

… Strep Throat X 3

… more than $1,000 in dental work

… a 10-day trip for my two oldest to Disney World with their dad

…my first grader throwing up in school for the first time

… enough calls from the school nurse to memorize her phone number

… various colds and viruses

… a weekend getaway to the Aquarium at Niagara

… surgery to insert permanent ear tubes, and remove adenoids and tonsils for my 9 year old

… a last-minute invitation and business trip for me to The White House

And that’s ALL since the beginning of the year.  It’s only the middle of April, people!  Yep.  All in less than 3 MONTHS.

Admittedly, there was an afternoon in my kitchen – probably about half way through the list above – where my children and husband looked on as if I was crazy, while I stood, looking upward, arms outstretched to the heavens, declaring between tears and tired laughter,

“Bring it on!  Let’s see what else ya got.  Just bring it on!”

But that wasn’t crazy.  THAT was me surrendering to Parenting Survival Mode.

11 Tips – From Fellow Moms – to Make it Through Parenting Survival Mode

Can you relate to the picture above?  Sure, the specifics are different.  You might have more or less kids.  They might be at different ages and stages.  There might not be a husband at home.  There might be even more serious medical issues.  There might be challenging temperaments or even psychological issues that make things harder.  And it’s really not necessary to compare the specifics.  They are unique to you.  To your journey.

No one’s hard time is better or worse than another’s.

What puts you into Parenting Survival Mode isn’t important.  It’s how you SURVIVE it that matters.  Here are some tips that have helped me and some of my fellow blogging mama friends through tough times…

1. Journal & Give Yourself Credit for What DOES Get Done

“Take a moment to write down everything you do and that happens in the day – like this post outlining a day in my life as a stay at home mom.  I find that journaling even a single day helps me see why I am overwhelmed and what I am actually getting done.  Sometimes it helps give my husband some perspective on what goes on all day, and sometimes it helps me see where things need to go differently.  I have also journaled for several days in a row when I am looking to establish a routine – like this.  Routines are easier to set up and maintain when they are based on what is already happening.  Big hugs to all the mothers with little kids reading – my youngest is now three, and while some things become more complex (I’ve got a tween!), I do think it is easier once children can feed and clothe themselves and speak in complete sentences!”  MaryAnne of Mama Smiles

2. Bring it Back to the Bare Necessities – Food, Water, Sleep, Health

Seriously.  Just make sure everyone is fed and watered!  And getting as much sleep as possible.  I know, I know.  Quite often Parenting Survival Mode goes hand-in-hand with a certain parenting stage where sleep is lacking.  But try to sneak it in whenever and wherever you can.  As Kara of The Joys of Boys explains…

“I’m not sure who came up with the idea that it is not okay for moms to get tired, but I’m tired of feeling guilty for being tired.  (Are you following me?)  I am giving you permission to do something that most of us probably should have done a long time ago: Take a Nap!  Being a mom is ridiculous on most days and exhausting on our best days.  It is okay to be tired!”

I will never judge a mom for napping in her car in the supermarket parking lot while the baby naps safely in the car seat behind her.  I will know – she’s in Parenting Survival Mode.  Speaking of judgement…

3. Let Go of Judgement & Guilt

Have you ever noticed how judgement and guilt feed off one another?  When we judge one another as mothers, aren’t we really judging ALL mothers?  Even ourselves?  I know there have been many times I have resorted to parenting tactics that I judged other mothers for doing and swore I would never do.  Then when I’m doing it, the guilt is even worse!  So especially when you’re in Parenting Survival Mode, don’t look at other mothers or at yourself in a critical way.  Instead…

4. Just Look FORWARD

When I’m in the midst of tough parenting times, I try to just look ahead not at the way I freaked out and yelled at my kids five minutes ago or at the junk food I let them eat yesterday.  I just focus on what’s to come.  Sometimes it’s even looking towards the very next step, the very next minute, which keeps me moving forward.

5. Adjust Your Expectations & Commitments

“I am famous for this one, but about a year ago I decided NO MORE.  It started with declining to coach youth sports and now I work daily at just saying NO.  It can be something as simple as telling friend, ‘No, I can’t make it to the park today.’ when I have something I need to finish up at home.  Or accepting help from another parent as room mom.  Even declining to attend a birthday party or fun event when it would just be too much to add one more thing into our weekend.  The more often I say No, the easier it is, and as a result the anxiety of looming deadlines or arriving late are gone.  We can do it all, we just can’t do it all at once.”  Rachael of Adventures in Wunderland

6. Find Comfort in Your Partner or Another Support Person

This is hard for me.  I tend to withdraw inside myself when I get stressed.  I need to learn to embrace the love and support my husband offers.  I need to give him more credit for being able to understand what I’m going through.  But I know not every mama has a partner at home to find comfort in.  I recommend reaching out to a family member or friend who can understand what you’re going through.

7. Don’t Forget Physical Touch & Affection

This should probably be in that list of bare necessities above.  Physical touch – whether a hug from an understanding friend, a smooch from my husband, or the heavy weight of my child in my lap – always uplifts me.  And probably uplifts and benefits me more than I even realize.

8. Adopt a Mama Mantra

You know, a phrase or quote that encourages you.  Write it down.  Find room for it among the kids art on the fridge.  And repeat it – out-loud like a crazy lady if you have to! – to help you get through your mommy meltdown.  Mine is “This too shall pass.”

9. Talk to a Counselor or Consult with Your Doctor

Tough parenting times can trigger anxiety and depression.  I know from experience. I have been swinging between battling and managing anxiety and depression since my nine year old was six-months-old.  Over the years I have managed it with a combination of counseling, adjusting my eating habits, Faith and Prayer, and medications prescribed by my doctor.

10. Prepare Ahead of Time – When Possible!

I know it’s not always possible to see these times of “just surviving” coming.  Ours hit like a semi-truck right at the New Year.  But when times are easier, consider preparing the house and cementing routines – just in case!

When your tough parenting times include as much sickness as ours have over the past couple months, it’ll be nice to have everything you need in the medicine cabinet ready to go.

This winter and spring especially, we’ve been so relieved to have Children’s Dimetapp® Cold & Allergy to help fight congestion and relieve itchy watery eyes from allergies.

11. LAUGH!

It might be through tears, but laughter sure helps.  Watch a funny movie, laugh with a friend, or just throw your hands up and laugh at the universe like I do!

Check out the Sick just got real.™ Facebook page to find a little humor during your mama break.

Have you ever been in “Parenting Survival Mode”?  What tips to get through it would you add?  Join the conversation in the comments below!

More Parenting Inspiration from B-Inspired Mama:

    

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This is a sponsored conversation on behalf of Pfizer Consumer Healthcare. However, all opinions are authentic and my own. Please see my disclosure policy.