This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of HomeTeam. All opinions are 100% mine.
Can Children of Divorce Have a Good Relationship with Dad?
My two oldest kids have lived over 4 hours from their dad since the divorce five years ago. They deal with it quite well. It’s their normal. They were one and three when their dad and I separated and they moved with me to be closer to my family. They spend every other weekend or so at their dad’s house; they are car travel professionals at this point! And they have a great relationship with him and their step-mom. I’m so thankful for that. Inspired by B-Inspired Mama sponsor, HomeTeam App, I thought I’d share some tips to help children of divorce have a strong relationship with their dad – even when they live far apart. I’ve included some of my blogging friend’s suggestions, too. Check ’em out…
Helping Children of Divorce Bond with Dad – Even When They Live Apart
- Be Flexible with Timing– This is my #1 tip. Flexibility has been essential when it comes to planning and dealing with my kids virtual and in-person visits with their dad. We’ve never really gone by the strict every other weekend and every other holiday court ordered agreement. We switched weekends, adjusted timing, and done what works for us in the moment. Which leads me to my next point…
- Communicate, Communicate, Communicate – Find a way to communicate effectively with your children’s dad. My ex and I have no problems talking on the phone and texting, but if you can’t do that kindly and effectively, make another plan, like using email or going through a third party. But communication is important for planning visits and keeping dad in-the-know when it comes to the kids.
- Fall Back on the Court Order if You Need To – If good communication and flexibility are just not possible at the moment between you and your ex, then by all means stick strictly to that court order when it comes to visitation and communication times.
- Never Talk Bad About Dad Around the Kids – This can be hard when your relationship with your ex is rocky, but it’s so important. In her article on Supporting Kids Through Divorce, Paula of Beauty Through Imperfection explains, “Always fight to protect your kids if your ex is harming them, but otherwise, let the kids learn to see what is true about the other parent for themselves, don’t add your own opinions of their other parent to the mix. Speaking with respect will mean a lot to your kids, even though it’s not easy to do in the moment.”
- Talk Positively About Dad When You Can – In fact, I try to tell my kids positive things about their dad when I can. For example, in conversation about what they did with their dad on their visit, I’ll say casually, “I’m so glad you have a daddy who loves you so much!” or “You’re so lucky to have had that time with your dad.”
- Let Go of Control – This is admittedly something that I still struggle with and work on. It’s so hard to let go of control of what happens while the kids are with their dad. But it’s also so important for them to trust him as the authority figure and their father while they are with him. I love this reassurance from Jason, Family Therapist and blogger at Every Star Is Different, “… remember, it is nearly impossible to replicate the same routines, rules and expectations at both locations, regardless of personal feelings, since a child has a unique relationship with each parent to begin with, and ‘needs’ different things from each as well. The goal then is not to achieve perfect symmetry at mom’s house and dad’s house, but for things to happen the same way, at each respective house, every time.” So as long as I know my kids are safe and loved, I try not to stress about the little things that happen while they are there.
- Use Technology to Stay Connected – My kids are lucky in that they rarely go more than a couple weeks between visits with their dad. But even when they were just itty bitties, they huddled around the computer to video chat with their dad. We rely so much on our smartphones, tablets, and computers to communicate and stay connected to their dad when apart.
HomeTeam Can Help Kids Stay Connected!
One new tech option we’ve discovered recently is the HomeTeam App. Not only does HomeTeam offer a platform for unlimited video chat, but also a space where kids can virtually read books and play fun games with their dad – or any other far away family member or friend, too.
It even has the kids favorite Disney stories! But their favorite part of HomeTeam at the moment is the game center with classic games like checkers and the drawing activity.
Want to Try HomeTeam, Too?
HomeTeam is available on desktop computers or can be downloaded to a tablet.
Try the first month FREE! After the first-month free trial expires, there is a low monthly cost of $8.95 per month. Not a bad price to pay for kids to stay connected with dad, I’d say!
Do your kids live far away from their dad, too? How do you help them have a strong relationship with him? Any tips you’d add to the list above? Join the conversation in the comments below!
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This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of HomeTeam. All opinions are 100% mine. Please see my disclosure policy.
My parents divorced when I was quite young. Although they could not quite get it back together or get along between themselves they made sure that my brother and I were the most important factor. They made a point to remain very close for us and I think that was a huge benefit to our upbringing. I have seen the opposite side of that coin as well with all the bad-mouthing and negativity with others that I know. thank you for sharing your insight! Every bit helps.
Divorce with children can be tricky to navigate through. I always want everyone to keep the kids best interests in mind, and stay civil. As you mentioned, not talking bad about the other parent in front of the child. Great tips, thanks for sharing.
Full Spectrum Mama says
It’s definitely an ongoing struggle in my family, even though my ex lives nearby. Some of your tips were helpful, though – and some reaffirm where I stand on this complicated dynamic…
Krissy @ B-Inspired Mama says
Complicated is right! Hope this helped. 🙂