Friendship is hard when you’re a mom.
Add special needs parenting to that mix, and it often feels impossible.
I can count on one hand – er… 2 fingers? – the friends who really get it. Who support me as a mom and understand me as a special needs parent, too.
Here is my advice for everyone else – with 4 simple steps to support your friends who are special needs parents…
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4 Simple Steps to Support Your Special Needs Parents Friends
1. Don’t Take Offense – I might not call as often. And I probably won’t schedule as many playdates. Or I might text and cancel at the last minute. It’s not you. It’s me. I’ll be too busy taming a tantrum to get out the door. Or too tired from a sleepless night. Please, don’t take offense. Give me grace when I’m less than a good friend.
2. Listen without Solving – Yes, I am venting about the problems of the day again. But, I don’t necessarily need a solution. I just need you to LISTEN. To look me in the eye and shake your head in understanding. To be a sounding board without worrying about solutions. To give a hug at the end, once in awhile, too.
3. See the Good in Our Kids – I know my kids can be difficult. And difficult to connect with. But I also love them and see the sparkle and love in their eyes, too. If you observe quietly for a minute you might see it, too. Please tell me if you do! I’m so often hearing about the trouble a child caused at school or the frustration in Grandma’s voice. I need to hear the positive about my kids, too.
4. Call and Text and Call Again – Check in on me, friend. I know I don’t call enough. But my lack of texts doesn’t mean I don’t need you. I just get distracted with all the doctors-appointment-managing and routine-following and meltdown-averting and… laundry. Your calls and texts help me feel less alone, even if I don’t have time to answer them at the moment.
More From Fellow Special Needs Parents:
Make sure to check out these other blog posts about supporting special needs parents from my fellow mama bloggers with special needs kids:
Supporting Yourself and Your Child with Special Needs | Natural Beach Living
Am I Going Crazy? | Every Star is Different
Tips For Supporting A Child With Trauma History | STEAM Powered Family
Special needs parents: we all need support (even you) | My Home Truths
12 Things That Special Needs Mom Needs from You | The Chaos and The Clutter
Classroom Supports & Accommodations for Kids with Hyperlexia | And Next Comes L
Finding Support: From The Wind in Your Life | 3 Dinosaurs
A Letter to Parents with a Child on the Spectrum | Carrots Are Orange
Supporting a Family with High Medical Needs | Grace and Green Pastures
And check back here on the 23rd of each month for more in our Parenting Children with Special Needs series.
MORE ABOUT OUR SPECIAL NEEDS JOURNEY:
This post contains affiliate links. Which just means if you make a purchase after clicking a link, I will receive a small percentage of the sale – without your price being any higher! Thank you for your continued support. For more information, see my disclosure policy.
Meet the Author: Krissy Bonning-Gould
M.Ed Art Education - Blogger at B-Inspired Mama - Social Media Maven - Creative Mama of 3.
Love this! I am absolutely AWFUL with playdates and phone calls. Ugh. Someday I hope things will get better.
Renae recently posted…Am I Going Crazy?
I’m sure they will! And for now, we have Facebook groups and blogs. 😉
Oh yes, it’s so hard to be a reliable and present friend when you are also dealing with your kids’ special needs. A little bit of understanding can go such a long way!
Kirsty @ My Home Truths recently posted…Here’s the Blog Scoop
I love this article! It is obviously written by an experienced mama. These steps could be so helpful for all those friends who want to help but don’t know how.
Thank you, Cindy!