Fellow Mamas Talk How to Build Self-Esteem
One of the things that I worry about often as a mama is the state of my childrens’ self-esteem. I recently looked up the definition of self-esteem:
In my (humble) opinion, self esteem is one of the most important character traits to build in our kids. Think about it this way: if kids have RESPECT for themselves, that will positively influence their decision making for the rest of their lives. From which friend to sit by in the Kindergarten cafeteria to which dress to choose for the Senior Prom to which person to spend the rest of their life with. So I’m always looking for ways to help my kids build self-esteem. And I thought it would be interesting to hear what my fellow blogging mamas do to build self-esteem in their kids. Let’s hear what they have to say…
Alright, Mamas, how to build self-esteem in YOUR kids?
1. Point Out Their Strengths
“I try to make a point of pointing out strengths that my children have. As someone who frequently undervalues my own abilities, I know how easy it is to not be able to recognize our own strengths and abilities. It’s a lot easier to see them when others point them out to us. So, I hope that in pointing those out to my kids that it also helps encourage their self-esteem.” Angie of Real Life at Home
2. Give Encouragement During Times of Struggle
“When my daughter is struggling to accomplish a task and starts saying ‘I can’t’, I remind her how far she has already come and how great a job she is doing trying. It encourages her and builds her up, making her more confident in herself and her abilities.” Kara of ALLterNATIVElearning
3. Celebrate Differences and Diversity
“I think part of teaching kids to love themselves is to teach them to love the uniqueness of others. We talk about and read books about diversity. And we try to notice and celebrate differences of style, interests, and talents among others and ourselves.” Krissy of B-Inspired Mama
4. Don’t Compare Your Kids with Other Kids
“I make a point of not comparing my son to other children. I make sure he feels valued because of who he is, not because of how he stacks up next to others.” Katie of Pick Any Two
5. Praise Efforts Instead of Outcomes
“We praise effort instead of outcomes so our kiddos learn that hard work pays off – and not to rely on other people’s opinions of them!” Kelly of The (Reformed) Idealist Mom
6. Help Them Be of Service to Others
“I create and give my children opportunities to serve each other and those around us. We raise money for charity through bake sales, or collect needed items for a homeless shelter. Seeing how they can have a positive effect on the world around them helps them feel valuable. When we lift others we lift ourselves.” Erin of Chicken Babies
7. Stop Hovering & Doing Everything for Them
“Very quickly I realized that always doing everything for my son wasn’t allowing him to see that he could do things for himself (which is so important in building self-esteem). I had to stop myself from hovering, take a step back and let him be independant.” Rikki of Mini Monets and Mommies
8. Model Positive Self-Talk
“I model positive self talk for my children. If they see me look in the mirror, I smile at myself and make a kind comment about myself. I also do this if I am struggling with a problem. Instead of saying ‘I can’t,’ I say things such as, ‘I’m good at problem solving, maybe I should brainstorm solutions,’ or ‘This is really challenging my brain. I like a challenge.” Amanda of The Educators’ Spin On It
9. Model How to Accept Compliments
“I accept compliments more – if someone says to me ‘You look lovely.’ , instead of saying ‘Oh, I don’t.’, I smile and thank them.” Rachel of Parenthood Highs and Lows
10. Use Toys for Role Play & TV Shows as Conversation Starters
“I was one of those future-moms that assured everyone that my future-daughter would NOT own a certain unrealistic but popular doll. Once I actually had a daughter, though, I learned quickly that it wasn’t realistic to not let my daughter own a doll that so permeates our culture. But when we DO play with those dolls – and with other dolls and toys – I weave in comments about body-image and self-esteem. And the same with television shows; when we DO watch certain less-than-ideal shows, I use them as conversation starters with my kids.” Krissy of B-Inspired Mama
New Positive Toys for Kids from Build-A-Bear!
As I mentioned in the final tip above, I like to weave small doses of self-esteem talk and encouragement into my kids’ everyday play. Some physically unrealistic dolls (and you all know which dolls I’m talking about) make good examples of what NOT to celebrate and focus on in regards to self-image and self-esteem. But it can be hard to find dolls and toys that focus on the RIGHT things: uniqueness, diversity, talents, and friendship. So when I heard about Build-A-Bears new Honey Girls, I was really impressed. Not only because my Priscilla is a HUGE Build-A-Bear fan, but because the new Honey Girls characters celebrate all of these things.
“Music brought them together, friendship keeps them together! These three besties met at their school and formed their own band. Teegan, Risa, and Viv each bring their unique strengths to the band. It takes the perfect lyrics, a sweet harmony, and a little bit of rhythm to really rock! The Honey Girls shine brightest when they work together. They’ll always be brighter together!”
I love that music is what brings these three together, but I especially love how each Honey Girl has her own special song and unique interests and talents. And they aren’t stereotypical interests either; Viv made her own robot and Teegan created her own comic book! In fact, when kids “build” their Honey Girl at Build-A-Bear, they can customize their Honey Girl by stuffing her with a special plush star – to represent their choice of six traits.
Think your kids would love the Honey Girls? The three Honey Girls friends will be available for purchase online starting July 8 at BuildABear.com/Honey-Girls and in-store at Build-A-Bear Workshops starting July 10. Each character will retail for $28 and will travel home in their very own “condo” that transforms into a performance stage once home. (Outfits and accessories are sold seperately.) And keep your eye out for the Honey Girls Studio App, available through iTunes and Google Play in July, which will feature character biographies, music videos, a music video maker, selfie activity, and more! Here’s a special “Sneak Preview”! You can also follow Build-A-Bear on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.
Win a Build-A-Bear Gift Card!
Be ready to order your own Honey Girls with this $100 Build-A-Bear Gift Card! Enter to win here:
I can’t wait to see the positive play and self-esteem building these three will bring to my kiddos.
So tell me, do you think self-esteem is as important as I do? Have any ideas to share for how to build self-esteem in kids? Join the conversation in the comments below!