This post was contributed by Laura of In Which I Record Memories. t is a sponsored post on behalf of The Allstate Foundation and MomSelect. All opinions are authentic and her own. Please see B-Inspired Mama’s disclosure policy.
Let’s Talk Domestic Violence…
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Domestic violence is surprisingly common, and also surprisingly un-discussed. One in four women will be affected by domestic violence in their lifetime. One in four. Let’s pause for some math here: one in four women is more women than will be affected by breast cancer, ovarian cancer, and lung cancer. COMBINED. Another scary set of statistics: domestic violence happens more than 145 times each hour in the US, resulting in an average of three deaths per day as a result. You would figure this is a hot conversation topic, right? Yet, even with those statistics, this issue remains un-discussed by more than one third of Americans.
The term “domestic violence” often brings to mind physical abuse, but there is also financial abuse, where women are given little to no access to bank accounts and important documents. Lack of financial knowledge and resources is the number one indicator of whether a victim of domestic violence will stay, leave, or return to an abusive relationship. If we can’t even talk about this issue, how can we hope to do something about it? And how can we teach our kids about it? And raise them in a way that will stop the cycle of violence? Let’s here from the B-Inspired Blogger mamas…
8 Steps to Take with Our Kids to Stop the Cycle of Domestic Violence
Be a Role Model
“[It’s important to] model respectful behavior to our partners and spouses.” Sharon of Rediscovered Families
Make the Hard Decisions
“Sometimes [being a role model for our kids] may mean leaving an abusive situation.” Sharon of Rediscovered Families
Teach Kids Conflict Resolution
“I think from the earliest age you can teach that it’s never OK to hit. Learning other ways to resolve conflict supplies kids with tools they can use in later life.” The Monko of Taming the Goblin
Go Ahead & Argue In Front of the Kids
“This topic hits close-both my parents grew up with husband to wife abuse and my dad was abused by his father. They made the promise to never abuse each other. They had productive (sometimes heated) arguments even in front of my brother and me which was so valuable to learning that there is conflict in marriage but it can be dealt with in ways that avoid abuse.” Jaimi of The Stay-At-Home-Mom Survival Guide
Teach Respect for the Opposite Gender
“Also teaching to respect the opposite gender (and that goes both ways – domestic violence affects men as well). Modelling respect for your partner (even when you are no longer together) can go a long way to helping little ones in later life.” The Monko of Taming the Goblin
Teach Boundaries & Empathy
“I personally think teaching my children the idea of boundaries and considering others is essential. We talk about how others will feel if we act in certain ways and how the actions of others make us feel to learn how to do better next time.” Jaimi of The Stay-At-Home-Mom Survival Guide
Make The Home a Safe Place to Vent
“I think the home being a safe place is important. My kids are allowed to vent their frustration but not hit or push others in doing so. Teaching productive coping strategies and seeing our use of them helps.” Jaimi of The Stay-At-Home-Mom Survival Guide
Get the Kids Involved in Service Projects
“I have been teaching my boys about abuse and violence when working on our service projects. When putting together supplies that will go to children in a women’s shelter for women fleeing domestic abuse, I talk about how our behavior affects others and the good ways that we can treat others and the harmful ways that we can treat others. We have had many discussions on how to treat people and how we can help those that need our help since our service project.” Sheila of Pennies of Time
Pass a Purple Purse to Raise Domestic Violence Awareness
The Allstate Foundation’s Purple Purse Project, launched in 2011, has not only pledged to donate up to $350,000 to the YWCA to assist domestic violence survivors and other women in need, but it also provides a conversation starter and acts as an information resource. Thirteen hundred actual purple purses will be filled with domestic violence information and facts and distributed throughout the US. The goal is to pass these purses between family and friends as well as community leaders, celebrities, media, and Allstate employees and agents, each time sparking conversations and raising awareness about domestic violence. The best part? Each time a purse is passed and checked-in at PurplePurse.com, the Allstate Foundation will donate $5 to the YWCA. You can also visit PurplePurse.com to follow these purses as they travel across the country as well as to get tips that will help you get started talking about domestic violence.
If you didn’t get a chance to lay your hands on the actual purple purses travelling the country, you can share a virtual purple purse by visiting Facebook.com/PurplePurse to spread online awareness with your friends and family. Each time one of these virtual purses is shared or re-shared, the Allstate Foundation will make a $5 donation to YWCA.
Be on the lookout for warning signs in your relationships. Something that seems benign now can escalate later. Those intuitive “red flags” should be paid attention to. If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224. Want to know what you can do to stop the cycle of abuse? Talk!! Talk about this issue, openly, with family and friends. More resources can be found at PurplePurse.com, as well as at partner websites (www.ywca.org and www.nnedv.org)
This post was contributed by Laura of In Which I Record Memories. Laura is a mom, a wife, a student, and a lab rat. She has a wonderful little girl, Sophia, who teaches her something new every day. When she’s not doing research, she enjoys documenting her growth, spending time with her husband, and participating in mud runs. You can find the story of her crazy life at In Which I Record Memories.
I am so honored to be able to share about The Allstate Foundation’s Purple Purse Program here on B-Inspired Mama. I hope that this post, as well as the wonderful tips from my fellow mamas, will inspire more conversation about the sometimes-avoided subject and cultivate a positive change in the world of our children. Thank you so much, Laura!
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