It seems like everything gets just a little more complicated once you’re a mom. And friendship isn’t exempt from that. Sometimes our pre- mom friendships just don’t hold up to the changes. So it’s often necessary and beneficial to find some mom friends who can relate to you and your new status. Here’s some tips from real moms on how to find and nurture mom friends…
Tips for Finding & Nurturing Mom Friends
1. Go Where the Moms Are!
“I move a lot and am always looking for new friends. I try to go places where the mom’s are. Play areas in the mall, great parks, etc. The best place for me to meet people are classes or story times. I become a ‘regular’ and eventually I meet some great people.” Amanda of Dirt & Boogers
2. Find Groups Through the Internet
“ I was a brand new mom with no and I do mean no mommy friends so I googled myself silly – meetup.com, International Moms Club, MOPS, church groups, playdates, Mommy Networks – you name it.” Erika of Prey Species
3. Try Meetup.com
“When I lived away from any relatives in a new town I used meetup.com to find a playgroup in that area. I ended up finding a great one that I looked forward to going to every Thursday.” Amy of Z is for Zel
4. Try a Class
“ Then I have some great mummy friends I met through a music class I took Goblin to when he was tiny. It was a Kodaly class so a little bit ‘off the beaten track’ and I think thats why i was lucky enough to find some mums who’s parenting was more ‘off the beaten track’ too.” The Monko of Taming the Goblin
5. Go to The Library
“Library story times and craft times are golden – especially the craft sessions, since it’s easier to chat with whichever mom happens to sit at your table.” MaryAnne of Mama Smiles
6. Find a Support Group
“My kids are adopted, so we participate in two adoption groups in our area that have been a wonderful source of support and a great place to meet new friends. It is very nice to be with other families who understand the unique challenges of raising children who have spent significant amounts of time in an institutional setting before joining our family.” Katie of Gift of Curiosity
7. Host Playdates
“ Hosting regular playdates with good friends is the best way to keep your friendships strong!” Kim of The Educators’ Spin On It
8. Be Open to Friendship
“When I moved back to a small town, one of the only friends I knew there invited me for morning tea one day. She also invited 2 other friends of hers with small children like I had at the time. Those three women have become my closest friends. We made the effort to spend a morning week together for more than a year so that we got to know each other beyond the surface. It worked because we all made the effort and we all came into it open to building new friendships.” Tonya of The Crafty Mummy
9. Send a Note
“I asked at goblin’s nursery for the names of the kids he played with the most. Then I put a note in their home bags with my contact details (email and phone) and explaining that I was available with Goblin for playdates on certain days if they wanted to meet up. One of the mums got back to me and we have been on several lovely play dates, and she is so nice.” The Monko of Taming the Goblin
10. Don’t Be Afraid to Approach Other Moms
“I also made new mummy friends when my kids started school. Again it was about making the effort to go up to people I didn’t know outside the classroom and talk to them. Those few minutes each day have created a little group who still meet up in the school yard when we pick up our kids.” Tonya of The Crafty Mummy
11. Follow Your Kids’ Lead
“[I make friends with] the parents of my kids’ friends. Even though I may not initially have much in common with the parent, our kids get along really well. I work to develop a relationship with the parents of my kids’ friends and usually find we have more in common than we thought.” Sheila of Pennies of Time
12. Ask for Names EARLY!
“I have been taking my son to the library just about every week for 2 years now and each week Chloe and her mom are there. … I never took the opportunity the first few weeks or months to move past the kid talk to acknowledge the fact that we mom’s have names too. It became a joke in my family and my mom began asking each week if I had learned my library friend’s name yet.” Melanie of Raising A Boy (Find out how Melanie finally got the name of her mom friend!)
13. Check In Once In Awhile
“The friendships that have lasted the best for me are the ones where, even if things get too busy to meet up often, we check in with each other every once in a while. – just to let the other person know that we are thinking of them and truly want to know how they are doing.” MaryAnne of Mama Smiles
14. Connect Online
“I’m better at keeping track of friends online than in real life. I’m also really shy which makes it hard to reach out sometimes.” Erin of The Usual Mayhem
15. Get Together Without the Kids
“Moms Night Out is the only way I get to finish a conversation with my mommy friends as we’re always busy at playdates.” Kim of The Educators’ Spin On It
17. Plan an Annual Getaway
“I started a monthly craft group with my friends to make sure I connect with them and commit that time for myself. We also go on a yearly girls weekend getaway.” Laura of Play Dr. Mom
18. Stick to Similar Aged Kids
“Our best friends have a little girl who is 2 months older than our son and we will get together for game nights. We make dinner together and then the kids play or watch a movies together while the grown ups play a game. The game does tend to get interrupted a few times by tending to kid needs but having kids the same age makes that easier, and we both understand so it’s not a big deal.” Carissa of Creative Green Living
19. Cut Them Some Slack
“As far as maintaining relationships, I have to remind myself that all parents are busy and need free time to themselves so if you haven’t heard from friends as often as you’d like it isn’t because of anything you did, they are probably just tired! (At least I always am.)” Amy of Z is for Zel
20. Create Your Own Community
“I have a hard time connecting in person when the kids are distracting me. So I rely a lot on my community of mom friends here at B-Inspired Mama. You can create your own community of mom friends through a blog, Google+ or Facebook, too.” Krissy of B-Inspired Mama
How do you find mom friends? How do you find time to nurture those friendships as a mom?
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