This is the 2nd post in our new Parenting Children with Special Needs series. Read the first post here, which tells more about the special needs we have in our family. But for quick reference, we have 3 amazing special needs kids who flourish even with various combinations of ADHD, SPD, Developmental Coordination Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Major Depressive Disorder. Now, here’s a peek into our everyday life…
A Day in my Life: This Blogging Mama & My Special Needs Kids
This post contains affiliate links. Which just means if you make a purchase after clicking a link, I will receive a small percentage of the sale – without your price being any higher! Thank you for your continued support. For more information, see my disclosure policy.
Part 1: A Morning
6:15 AM – I wake to my Priscilla climbing the stairs and plopping onto my bed. She’s amazingly wide-eyed given the fact that she woke me 2 separate times in the night. She’s 7, but she’s been struggling with insomnia for the last couple months. I snuggle, kiss, and tickle her a bit despite her giggling complaints about my morning breath. I see that Cliff’s already off to work for the day, and realize it’s the first day of my older kids’ Summer Academy, which they are NOT excited about. This should be fun.
Takeaway: Snuggles and giggles go a long way when it comes to grumpy kids and tired mamas.
6:20 AM – I cautiously broach the subject of Summer Academy with Miss Priscilla. She flails away from me, rolling her eyes faster than her body. I remind her of the playdate with her girlfriends she will earn by getting through these next 2 weeks of 9AM -2PM school days, and she relents, but not without a grumble. We head downstairs.
Takeaway: I’ve been told extrinsic rewards are unhealthy for children. But I know they work for my kids and many other special needs kids. And I do what works. Without guilt.
6:30 AM – I arrive downstairs to see my Sawyer and J.C. already awake, but still in pajamas, playing games on their Kindles on the couch. I greet them with a cheerful, “Good Morning!”, but only Sawyer raises his head to smile. I send him and Priscilla off to get dressed for school. I look to J.C. and decide I’m not up for the fight I’d get if I took his Kindle away. He continues to play while I head to the kitchen to start breakfast.
Takeaway: Sometimes you have to pick your battles.
6:35 AM – I take my medicines and vitamins with a big glass of water while our breakfast microwaves. Then I prep the lunch boxes. Priscilla stomps into the kitchen with searing eyes to tell me she can’t find any school t-shirts in her dresser. I remind her to check the 3 baskets of clean laundry waiting to be folded in the living room.
Takeaway: I might share laundry tips and other home and parenting advice here at B-Inspired Mama, but I go through seasons of having it together or not so much, just like every other mom. Right now, my house is NOT my season.
6:45 AM – I bring breakfast to the table hoping to see 3 eager, smiling kids. No luck. Sawyer’s back on the couch next to J.C., playing Minecraft again. Ugh. They know they’re supposed to meet at the table. I call them all over to the table. 3 times. Before they actually make it there – with Kindles in hand. This morning, I decide to let them keep the tech during breakfast so I can fit a quick shower in.
Takeaway: Tech is not so terrible. I take comfort knowing my kids are playing learning games or watching educational videos while I fit in 10 minutes of mama time.
6:50 AM – I lean against the shower wall letting the too-hot water hit my arthritic lower back while I plan out my School Drop Off Strategy. How can I make sure Priscilla goes in without a tearful episode? Discuss the positives of Summer Academy on the way to school. Remind her of her playdate reward. Make drop-off short and sweet. DO NOT walk her in! How can I ensure Sawyer makes it through the hot school day without his emotions and temper getting the best of him? Prepare him by letting him know what to expect. Encourage him to persevere (the language they use at school). Make sure he has a filled water bottle and healthy lunch. Okay. I think I’ve got this. I get out of the shower, get dressed, brush my hair and teeth, but don’t bother with makeup.
Takeaway: Just 10 minutes of mama time can make a morning. And the best place to find it is in a quiet, hot shower.
7:00 AM – I find the kids still at the breakfast table – still with noses in Kindles. Sawyer asks for more breakfast. Priscilla nibbles at hers. But J.C. hasn’t touched his. I start negotiations with my pickiest of all picky eaters about what he will accept for breakfast. We settle on a banana with peanut butter, and I head to the kitchen to make it.
Takeaway: It’s not always as simple as, “They’ll eat what you give them if they get hungry enough.” Some picky eaters actually have special needs like Sensory Processing Disorder or Anxiety that impacts their eating. I know when J.C. controls his eating, it’s because he needs to in order to find calm, and I don’t fight him over it.
7:15 AM – I join the kids at the table with my breakfast and finally insist them turn the Kindles off. After some whining, and a compromise to wait out the short Youtube Video Priscilla is in the middle of, we all manage to be tech-free drawing pictures and coloring. While we color, I have each of my big kids bring their backpacks to me so I can clean them out and make sure they’re ready for school. J.C. colors pictures of dinosaurs and sea animals as he tells us about each one. All while his body is constantly in motion – climbing off and on his chair, up onto the edge of the table, falling and hopping back up.
Takeaway #1: Compromising with kids, especially special needs kids, is OKAY. It can help them practice important verbal, social, and problem-solving skills.
Takeaway #2: Movement is also OKAY. As long as I’m nearby and know he’s safe, I try not to hinder my J.C.’s excessive movement. Is it annoying sometimes? YES! But I know it’s a struggle for him to control, and he has a lifetime ahead of moments where he’ll be expected to control it. So I try to let home be a safe place for him to wiggle and spin and jump.
7:45 AM – I chat with the kids about what to expect in their upcoming school day. I let them know it will probably be hot, but the school assured us, they’ll be outside playing often, so it should be fun. I chat with Sawyer about the friends he’s excited to see. But when I ask Priscilla who she’s excited to see, she just shrugs. I ask Sawyer if he remembers his tools he can use at school when he’s frustrated. He tells me he knows he can take deep breaths, ask the teacher for help, and use the beanbag chair. I remind Priscilla she can always ask her teacher for help, too, if she needs it. She doesn’t seem as sure as I do.
Takeaway: Knowing what to expect can help calm anxiety in special needs kids. And having strategies in place for dealing with possible struggles is important. But those strategies also need to be practiced and rehearsed often.
7:50 AM – While the big kids get their shoes and backpacks on, I help J.C. get dressed. He’s 4 and can undress on his own, but still needs help putting his clothes on. I slide his shorts and shirt on between his spins and hops. I fit in a couple good squeezy hugs and pecks on the cheek, even though he resists every one. I try to talk him out of his favorite rubber boots since it’s supposed to be so hot but decide it’s not worth the fight on such a busy morning.
Takeaway: Never underestimate the power of bear hugs. They are my go-to sensory tool for calming deep pressure (proprioceptive input) – and showing my love to wiggly kids, too!
8:00 AM – The kids bustle out the bottleneck that is our front door. I’m still getting my shoes on when I hear the wails. I know right away they’re Sawyer’s. I rush outside to see him on the ground at the bottom of the porch step, big tears rolling down, and a scraped-up bloody knee. Poor guy. He’s always so clumsy. I help him up and back in the house so I can clean and bandage his knee. Then I give him calming super-tight squeezy hugs while he cries on about how upset he is with himself for falling all the time. I wipe his tears and remind him how much I love him before we walk out to the minivan together.
Takeaway: See… Those bear hugs work in lots of situations.
8:05 AM – Priscilla and J.C. are already waiting in the van. I buckle J.C.’s seat belt. Then, I climb in the driver’s seat, going through my mental checklist… Keys. Purse. Phone. Water. All 3 kids. CHECK! Then ask the kids aloud as we pull out of the driveway… “Everyone have their backpacks, lunches, water bottles, and sunscreen?” “Yes!” I put on some upbeat music and start singing. Sawyer joins in, but not Priscilla. She’s going to Summer Academy, but she will not be happy while doing it.
Takeaway #1: Music is an awesome way to connect with all kids, but especially my special needs kids. I use music to lighten rotten moods, distract from anxiety, calm when they’re hyper, and more.
Takeaway #2: My kids don’t always have to be happy. I seriously just learned this like a week ago! I completely overwhelmed and exhausted myself emotionally trying to find happiness for one of my children. All to realize that child simply wasn’t going to be happy at my whim. (Duh!) Or maybe even in this hopefully short season of their life. It will be OKAY.
8:20 AM – We pull into the drive where we’re picking up a school friend who needs a morning ride to Summer Academy. I’m happy to help this fellow special needs mama and her son. And I’m hoping having him join us on the short car ride will be a good distraction for Priscilla from her negativity about school. I was right! He joins Priscilla in the back of the minivan and they look at a LEGO book and chat the entire ride.
Takeaway: Find fellow special needs mamas and special needs kids. You will be amazed at how having a tribe – both online and offline – will help.
8:30 AM – We pull into a parking spot at the school in perfect time. The doors are just opening for morning drop-off. My kids like to be first to arrive, so they can settle in and don’t feel rushed. Priscilla tries to talk me into walking her inside but relents pretty quickly when her friend hops out of the van and heads down the long sidewalk. I tell Sawyer and Priscilla I love them and do a visual sweep for their book bags and lunch bags as they hop out of the van after him. I watch in the rearview mirror till they enter the door safely. Whew. That was easier than expected. I hope they make it through the day, though. I saw a quick prayer for no phone calls from the school so I have an uninterrupted blog work day today. My prayer’s interrupted by an already bored J.C. in the backseat, “Mommy, can I play Slither.io on your phone?”
Takeaway: Take a deep breath. It’s not even 9 AM yet.
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More from Moms of Special Needs Kids:
Make sure to check out the other stories and words of wisdom from my fellow mama bloggers with special needs kids:
How to Homeschool your Child with Special Needs | Natural Beach Living
Day to Day Life Parenting a Child with Reactive Attachment Disorder | Every Star is Different
Life with Trauma ~ Living in the shadows | STEAM Powered Family
Reality Bites: Autism and Daily Life | My Home Truths
A Day in the Life of a Special Needs Mom| The Chaos and The Clutter
A Day in the Life: A Blogging Mom and Her Special Needs Kids | B-Inspired Mama
Failing My Son and the Routines He Can’t Explain | This Outnumbered Mama
Everyday Accommodations & Strategies for Kids with Hyperlexia | And Next Comes L
The Importance of Visual Schedules for Non-Verbal Autistic Children | Kori at Home
One Simple Trick to Connect with Your Child – Even on the Rough Days| Parenting Chaos
Navigating The Stream: The Trails of Daily Routine | 3 Dinosaurs
And check back here on the 23rd of each month for more in our Parenting Children with Special Needs series.
More About our Special Needs Journey:
This post contains affiliate links. Which just means if you make a purchase after clicking a link, I will receive a small percentage of the sale – without your price being any higher! Thank you for your continued support. For more information, see my disclosure policy.
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Kirsty @ My Home Truths says
I really enjoyed this post Krissy – it reminds me very much of my own mornings here at home. I love the takeaways you’ve emphasised here too – especially the ones about picking your battles. That’s definitely something special needs parents need to do – if you tried to fight everything you’d be even more exhausted by 9am!
Krissy @ B-Inspired Mama says
Thank you, Kristy!!
Renae says
I just love the tips and minute to minute details. Such a great way to show many of the instances where things could fall apart but you’ve worked hard to make sure they don’t.
Krissy @ B-Inspired Mama says
Thank you, Renae! It doesn’t always go that smooth…